Illseed is an AllHipHop.com columnist and independent cultural critic. The views expressed with in this editorial don’t necessarily reflect the views of AllHipHop.com or its staff. He thanks resident rabble rouser Kiko Michaels for letting him borrow his “Really” editorial series.

Really, John McCain…Really?

When I woke up Friday morning, I wanted to revel in the History was Barack Obama. The night before, I gazed at the television screen proudly as he accepted the Democratic Nomination for President of the United States of America.

The only problem is, when I finally got up from my slumber, I was irritated into a splitting headache by Republican John McCain.

This guy strategically decides to announce his running mate the day after Barack’s landmark speech. But that’s not what bothered me. It is who he picked.

McCain introduced first-term Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his vice presidential running mate early morning Friday, an act of contempt in my eyes.

"She's exactly who I need. She's exactly who this country needs to help me fight the same old Washington politics of 'Me first and country second,' " McCain said.

Really, McCain…Really?

I know you are fond of younger women, so perhaps this is what you need, but is this truly what the country needs?

You picked a 44-year-old, inexperienced a** mother of five, Tina Fey-looking, gun-toting, moose-skinning Alaskan for the vice presidency of the United States.

Really, McCain...Really?

So, what you have given America is a potentially disastrous quandary…an apocalyptic quagmire if you will.

You are a 72-year-old damaged war hero running for president and opt for a younger-less-experienced-and-less-inspirational-than-Barack vice presidential aspirant. I don’t think you drank any of the super serum that powered Captain America so it is possible that you could die in office. You might have drank some of that Houston drank making political missteps like this.

Furthermore, analysts say that U.S. presidents age about seven years faster than the rest of us due to the rigors of the gig. So, in theory, your senior tail could be exactly "100 years old" at the end of a four year term in office. (This doesn’t take into consideration a whole eight year possibility)

DUDE.

The thought of having a 44-to-48 year old first-term governor running America is as scarier than driving high with DMX and Amy Winehouse. You had cancer four times, my brother! You’re scaring the mess out of me.

So, is that was America needs or just you?

You seem to think you have tapped into the presumed disgusted and disenchanted legions of females that didn’t see their dreams come to fruition. Do you think this relative unknown is the republican Hillary Rodam Clinton? I think she is the Bizzarro Hillary – her opposite! Clue: this lady isn’t a Clinton or Geraldine Ferraro crazy a** either.

There are so many questions that I have of you. Here are a few.

You just met your pal Palin in February. What did she do to impress you so much in six months to bestow her with such an honor? I feel you have truly insulted females all over the nation by suggesting that this woman represents some quantum leap of progress. Hillary Clinton is a leap of progress, as was Geraldine, even though I cannot stand her.

Another question: Did you just scream, “Hail, Mary!” and throw Sarah Palin’s fairly unknown name out there like, “I hope American goes for this crazy s**t in November, because I don’t know what else to do with this Obama dude.” Or was it, “Women (including women that opposed just about everything else Palin stands for) are just gonna vote for her because she is a woman! Yay! They hate Barack!”

I love the strength of the female spirit, but I have to ask you another pertinent question.

Not seem sexist, but how does a self described “hockey mom from Alaska” function in a vice-presidential or presidential capacity?  She considered herself a longshot for the VP and will contend with balancing five kids, a husband, Iraq, Iran, and, oh yeah, turning America around.

Hey, Micckey, Did you read what I read from the Associated Press? If not, check it:

Alaska's former public safety director says he was fired in July by Palin after he refused to dismiss the governor's former brother-in-law, who had been accused of making threats during a messy custody batle with Palin's sister. A state probe of the allegation is due to be completed a week before the general election. 

Hillary Clinton left 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling, my dude? You let her say that to the ladies on your big day?

Really, McCain…Really?

I don’t know what you all are trying to pull, but get it together.

Bow out.

Cut this mess out right now and let Chi-town Obama and Delaware Biden win and you and Pal get out of the way of this movement.

You are going to get us all killed or run American into the ground worse than we already are with these nutty hijinks!

No way, no how…No McCain! (Word to Hillary.)

OK?

Just NO.

Epilogue: I still haven't forgiven the real Tina Fey for that "b***h is the new Black" mess so I'm not rockin' with the look-a-like.